FAQ

Jewish singles in their 20s and 30s across the USA who are marriage-minded and hoping to build a strong Jewish home.

Yes, all members must be Zionist Jews who believe in Israel's right to exist as our Jewish homeland and its right to defend itself.

Yes! There is a small LGBTQ pool within the larger pool, most of which are gay men looking for marriage (obv!) and children. I have made a few really incredible setups within the community; however, they are fewer and farther between because the pool is so small. It is extremely important to me that these matches are made with the same level of quality and discretion as all of my matches, even though there are far fewer singles to match up.

I also recommend Gay Shabbat as a resource to all of my LGBTQ singles as their network is large and opportunities to meet people are vast!

Fill out the join form yourself. Filling out the form is free, and it puts you in the pool. Please don't fill it out on behalf of a friend or child. It's important that singles fill it out themselves.

You can absolutely send them my way, but they need to fill out the form themselves. Parents are welcome on my parent email list, and I also offer parent meetings to learn more about me, the process, and share about your child before deciding if you would like to share the information with them.

Once your child has joined the pool, I will no longer speak with you about your single. You are welcome to reach out with questions generally, but they will need to communicate with me directly on all matchmaking matters!

After you fill out the form, you'll get the link to book either the 40-minute Intro Chat or the 20-minute Intro Chat Express. If nothing works right away, keep checking, since spots open up regularly.

I can never guarantee a match, or even a date. Timing varies from person to person. Some people are set up while still on their Intro Chat, and some wait many months, or even well over a year, to be matched for the first time. I only introduce two people when I believe there's serious potential for marriage.

You should not expect a match each month. The average number of setups each member of the pool has received is 1–2. It is incredibly important that you continue to date alongside of the J‑Pool!

If you struggle to lock down dates on your own, I recommend booking a Coaching Chat with me to discuss why this might be the case and come up with a strategy of how we can work on this moving forward.

No. There's no fee to go on a date and no limit to how many dates you can be set up on. The optional monthly contribution is what makes this possible.

In the traditional Jewish model, the most significant payment to a matchmaker comes when you're actually matched (engaged). It's paid to the matchmaker within 30 days of engagement, typically about 5% of the couple's combined annual income, and no less than $5,400 to compensate the matchmaker for the time, care, and attention each match requires. Many parents, if able, choose to cover this cost, though the sliding scale is intended to make this sizable and meaningful fee accessible for singles to pay themselves. It is typically sent with a note from the families or the couple to the matchmaker.

Book an Intro Chat to activate J‑Pool Plus, then send me a real update and a photo on Signal once a month (I typically recommend the date of your birthday). I keep you in mind for up to a year from our last meeting, as long as you keep in touch. "Hi, checking in" or "any ideas for me?" doesn't count—I ignore these messages. Tell me something real! While I appreciate and thoroughly read every update, I receive countless texts a day and do not typically have the bandwidth to respond to every monthly update!

YES!!! You truly have nothing to lose. It's possible nothing comes of it, but two of the girls currently engaged I reached out to from the free pool. That said, I HIGHLY recommend that you schedule an appointment to meet, even if only for the Intro Chat Express, when your schedule and budget allow. It is truly rare that someone fills out their form in such a way that I can feel their personality clearly through their written words AND that they are a match for someone in the pool I am already looking for.

At this time, no. If you are looking for a more hands-on approach, you are welcome to meet with me regularly. Some people like to meet as often as weekly for support, check-ins, or matchmaking blocks. This has proven incredibly helpful in making meaningful introductions, as I get to know you very well, much faster. However, if you are looking for a guaranteed number of introductions per month, I would recommend working with a white glove service that carries a small number of VIP clients at a time. These typically run $5,000–$50,000 up front for a contracted amount of time and/or introductions.

Definitely not. I have been offered many bribes in my couple of years doing this job, and the answer is always no. Frankly, if I had a person who would be a great match available off the top of my head, you would already know about them! This traditional model of matchmaking is incentive enough. I want to get you on a date just as much as you want to go on one. I want to get more strong Jewish couples engaged and on their way to the chuppah, and when I do, you will pay your shadchanus gelt.

If you would like to invest more into the process, book a Coaching Chat or Matchmaking Block.

Instagram DM @datingbydelaney (follow first so your message reaches me), or email datingbydelaney@gmail.com. Members can message me on the Signal app.

Yes! It starts with one 30-minute video call, then my proven protocol for making the distance work.

If you are a J‑Pool Plus member and will be visiting Nashville, I would love to meet at Nova Cafe & Kosher Market in Bellevue, Nashville, TN as my availability allows!

If you live in Nashville, come see me at my monthly office hours, free to residents of our local community, whether you are in the J‑Pool or not. DM me on Instagram or email me to find out the time and place for next month!

I would be delighted, just send me an invite! But for real, you can book me for a 2-day visit to your city starting at $3,600. During this visit, I can meet with singles, parents, clergy, and community leaders 1:1 to network and build lasting connections in your community. I am also available for small talks, teas, and dinners with groups of varying sizes to talk about dating in 5787, matchmaking, values-based dating, and Jewish continuity. While in town, I am happy to host or co-host a singles event for your community. The options are endless, the time is yours. Let's Chat.

Communities can sponsor this via an individual looking to invest in young singles in their community, or via a philanthropic organization. If you want to email an organization to share your interest in making this happen, you are welcome to use my template.

I'm closed for Shabbat, Jewish holidays, and American holidays, but I'll always be back! The work of a matchmaker never stops and often flows into all hours of the day, night, and weekend (besides Shabbat, obv!). That said, my primary hours at my desk for general questions and inquiries, appointments, etc. are 10am–6pm CT, Monday through Thursday.